Broadway and Girls star Andrew Rannells reveals that he was sexually aggression by a Catholic pastor as a teen in an extract from his new memoir, Too Much Is Not Enough: A Memoir Of Fumbling Towards Adulthood. The memoir concentrate on Rannells’ life before he grew prominent, submerge his times growing up in Omaha, Nebraska and his early career in New York.

In the excerpt be issued on Vulture, Rannells writes that he decided to seek lead from a priest about his recent sex participate with a forty-year-old man. When “things actually started to come complicated with the forty-year-old, ” Rannells writes, “I was at a total loss for adult contact and aid. My positions were slumping, I forever had a stomach ache, and I contemplated “peoples lives” was disintegrating around me.”

Rannells elected a pastor worded Father Dominic, who he reckons was in his sixties at the time. “He seemed so strong, but so species, and I was hopeful that he could save me from myself, ” Rannells writes. He went to Confession, which at his Catholic school wasn’t held in a private room. Instead, pastors would set up two chairs close to each other, play music to smother the din, and “then you would mostly exactly get right up in a priest’s face and whisper your blasphemies. Sometimes he would close his eyes and grab the back of your cervix firmly while you acknowledge. It seemed very’ Roman Wrestler’ at the time, but looking back it was also particularly’ Abusive Pimp.’”

When Rannells went to Confession, he writes, Father Dominic “grabbed my cervix, as expected, and I started to talk. I started to try to explain what was happening with me, but I couldn’t compile the words come out right. Instead, I started to cry. I was so embarrassed. Father Dominic constricted my neck harder, and he grabbed both my hands with his free hand. His sides used to be like baseball mitts. We really sat there while I cried. He ultimately said, ‘It’s okay. You’ve done nothing wrong..’ It wasn’t exactly what I was looking for, but it still felt nice.”

Then, Father Dominic caressed him: “He stood up and drew me up with him. He gript me tightly. I felt safe and heard and understood. Then, with unexpected force, he caressed me. On the cheeks. He muscled his tongue into my cavity and held the back of my top still. Then he liberated me and formed the sign of the cross on my forehead. He smiled.”

Rannells was “stunned, ” he writes, and “mostly tried to avoid Father Dominic for the rest of the year.” But then, his mother invited Father Dominic, along with several other pastors( including two that Rannells had had subdues on) to his graduation party.

When Father Dominic left the party, he questioned Rannells to indicated him out, and he kissed him again. “I knew what was coming, but at this point, I didn’t caution. I had played and received innumerable sex acts with a worker I didn’t care about, and I only trod around feeling detriment. So what did I care if one more macabre soldier want to get kiss me? What did it thing? ” Rannells writes. “We stood at my parents’ front entrance and said our good-byes for the final season, and then he grabbed me by the back of the cervix and impelled his tongue in my cavity. I just stood there and cause him. I didn’t kiss back, but I also didn’t move. He smiled at me and sauntered to his gondola. I went into our kitchen and slammed a glass of wine before going back out to the party.”

Rannells writes, “Cleaning up after the party, I felt a little daze. I believed, How many teenage boys have to deal with this shit at their graduation parties? Am I the only one? Or was Father Dominic simply taking a tour of homes and forcing French kiss on young men throughout the city? If I had to caress a priest at my graduation defendant, why couldn’t it have been a clergyman I wanted to caress? More important, why did I have to caress anyone? ”

Rannells’ memoir comes out at a time in which the Catholic Church is confronting innumerable high-profile reports of child sexual abuse by clergymen over the past various decades. Last month, Pope Francis hampered a summit to address “Protection of Adolescents in the Church” for responding to these ongoing the two reports of sexual abuse, as well as ongoing commentaries of the Church’s failure to remove priests they knew were sexually abusing juveniles. It was the first conference of such types held under Church history, nonetheless, NPR memoes that numerous Catholic were disappointed by the Vatican’s description of the summit as be concentrated on “prayer and discernment” rather than action.

If you have known sexual violence and require an crisis support, please call the RAINN Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE( 4673 ).

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